Obstacles to writing come in many forms. Mental and physical. Reality based and self generated. In some cases, the self generated is the hardest to deal with. Doubts, fears, insecurities intrude as well as the obstacles of what is called old tapes. None of those apply to my current obstacle. In my current case, it’s simply my birthday.
I really hate birthdays. It isn’t the I’m getting older but the “Birthday Curse” at work. I have extremely bad luck/Karma clearing during the month around my birthday. It usually starts two weeks before and lasts two weeks after. Anything and everything that can go wrong does. In short order.
Last year was easy. I broke my shoulder. This year, I caught a mild cold. Not bad. Ended up on antibotics. Feeling much better. Friday, my niece calls me and tells me that our nephew, Brandyn died. He was 22. I wake up Saturday, my throat is so sore that I can’t swallow. It’s the same cold. Intensified. By Thursday, I am at the Doctor’s barely able to breathe. Friday I get the antibiotics [no samples because he only does generics because of the cost and the reps won’t give samples to anyone prescribing generics. Don’t you just love our #37 health care?].
Saturday, I think I ate. I know Sunday, I had a bowl of soup. And some English muffins with a bit of peach jam. Today is Tuesday. I managed two hot sausages and am planning a bowl of soup. But at least I’m hungry again.
The Birthday Curse at work. I could cite more birthdays like this. I hate it for a good reason.
As I discovered with the broken shoulder, it makes even thinking about writing impossible. At least with the shoulder, I was high enough I didn’t care. Flexeril took care of that. With Bronchitis, you don’t have that option. You are just trying to breathe and not break a rib from coughing. Brick wall obstacle.
So everything has ground to a halt. The projects that I an another writing are working on. Silver Future. All ground to a halt.
As if I wasn’t fighting the onset of the “wonderful fall weather” to begin with. Seriously people, it ain’t wonderful for all of us. I never understood snow birds. I do now. My shoulder has started to hurt already. I’m old. I fully admit that.
The game plan got shot to shit. I was suppose to be packing for Mexico but thanks to Pennsylvania, I didn’t get my birth certificates I sent away for in the first week of January until the last day of September. Don’t expect speed from them. After all, they have to enter it into the computer and they type very slowly. And there is a discrepancy in the spelling of my name on my license and my Social Security. So I can’t get a passport until that is straightened out. The time to get the paperwork that corrects it? Up to 12 months. It’s easier for me to pay for a name change here than wait. Because DMV is the one that is wrong. And they are insisting I change everything, my copyrights, my books, my business license, my SS card, my… you get the picture… to accommodate their version of my name. NO. The time involved is tremendous only to change it back once I get the correct paperwork. Frankly I am sick of Pennsylvania and it’s half -assed Government. I’ve been a lifelong resident. No more.
I am sick of them. Frankly at this stage, I’m sick of the USA. There is an entire world out there. I always wanted to be an Expat but always put it off. It’s time. I’m old. If I don’t do it now, I won’t. As I said to the niece when she said “Are you coming back?” Hell NO.
Yep. I’ve reached Cranky. Cranky and Obstacles don’t go well together.
So here I sit feeling better but not well enough yet. I’m still at the so sick ‘I don’t care’ stage but edging over into the ‘I do care’ stage. There simply isn’t enough energy to care at the moment but I am fast entering the cranky because I can’t do what I feel like doing. So hopefully by this time next week when I am out of antibiotics, I will be at the “I can and I care” stage.
Sometimes you can work around or deal with it and sometimes, you simply have let it happen. Being sick is one of them. As I always say, you don’t get any extra brownie points for suffering through something when you could take the easier course. In this case, even considering suffering through was not an option. It just wasn’t there. And you know? It’s actually okay. When sick, treat yourself well. You get better a lot quicker than fighting it.